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Bum Sprays - Oh the joy! Most homes have a small spray gun or hose situated next to the toilet, to squirt streams of water at your bottom after using the toilet. These work to the extent that local places don’t often carry toilet paper.The Right Hand vs. The Left Hand - Because traditional Swahili food is eaten with your hands and no utensils, it is poor manners to shake hands using your left hand, as that hand is used for cleaning your bum. The right hand is for eating.Greetings - Whenever you come upon a group of people, even if you only know one member of the group, it’s expected that you go around, shak- ing hands with everyone.Children - Everyone is allowed to hold chil- dren as well as police them, whether you know the parents or not. Perhaps because it is a small population of less than a million, everyone is a part of the community. If you’re seated on a crowded bus, a mother without a seat will easily hand over an infant for you to hold. This is true regardless of gender, so you will see a 40-year- old man holding and singing to random infants. Similarly, if kids on the street are fighting, a passing adult will break it up, as well as yell at them.Service - This one was a bit hard for me as a westerner. Waiters don’t necessarily come over to your table when you sit at a restaurant, so you could be languishing there for 30 min- utes or more, which sucks when you’re hungry. When they finally come over, they ask what you want and then you have to ask them for a menu. The locals already know what is available, so the staff don’t think to always bring over men- us. Later when you’re ready for the bill, again the waiter is nowhere to be found. In Ethiopia, patrons actually clap their hands loudly. In Tanzania it’s completely normal to project loudly, “Excuse me” (Samahani in Swahili) to get the server’s attention.Politeness - People generally are very friendly, so it is common to hear tons of “hello and how are you?”, during the course of a day. However, for westerners it is quite difficult to say, “no” to general questions. For example, you’re sitting on a bus and your neighbor starts a conversation about practicing English, your country, or how you’re enjoying Africa. About 10 minutes into the conversation, they will pull out a cell phone and say, “What’s your number?”, with fingers poised over their keypad. The person can range from 15 years old to 75. It can seem exceedingly rude to say no. Immediately, start expecting at minimum, two calls or texts per day to say ab- solutely nothing, but a general “ Hello, how are you, when can we meet again?” or “I love you so much” hmmm.Charming Chaos...68